


Hospital Dramas Never Have This Problem

by orphan_account



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Advent Calendar Entries, Dorks trying to make out in a supply closet, Humour, Key word being trying, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:10:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8765470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Christmas Calendar Entry  number 2: Murder in the Dark AUThe Batfamily plays a nice round of Manhunt in an abandoned building. Jason and Tim attempt to escape for some alone time. It goes so-so.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Well, had to google Manhunt because I don't know the game ^_^; Pretty sure this is not how you do it.

Tim crouches low on the floor. He is irritated and tense.

"Let's play a game, he said," he mumbles to himself. "No training tonight, he said."

Jason squats next to him, clad in full gear but sans helmet. His leather and kevlar creaks with his movement.

"This isn't training," he says helpfully. He is unusually cheerful for the occasion.

Jason does not blend well with the family most of the time. It is by the use of his own personal charm (and a lot of bribes and subterfuge) that Tim even manages to make them get along. To see him so bright and cheerful while sitting in a dark hallway waiting for Dick and Damian to come find them is somewhat annoying, considering how tired and annoyed Tim himself is.

"We're squatting in the only abandoned building in Gotham that hasn't been made into a diner or a supervillain hideout." Tim blows his bangs out of his face. "Waiting in the dark for R, BB and N to find us while B waits in the cave for us to reach the bottom of the building and tap the ping signal in the basement. What part of this is not training?"

Jason's lips stretch into a slow smile. He rocks back and forth on his heels, utterly relaxed.

"Timmy, Timmy," he says, and Tim almost berates him for using names in the field, but really, who is there to listen? "You're just not looking at this from the right angle."

His voice is warm and amused. He knows something.

Tim does not want to admit it, but he is pleasantly curious as to what Jason means. His light mood begins to rub off on Tim, just a little bit. Though he is perfectly capable of staying mad around him, Jason's warm affection often gets to him in some way or other. There are admittedly worse people he could be stuck in a dark messy hallway with.

That, and whatever he has in mind has to be better than just sitting around. They have to devise a plan before they can go anywhere, and the rest of the family is still downstairs counting down together. The two of them have yet to even attempt to hide. Tim is too preoccupied lamenting the loss of a quiet night with his DVR and a bowl of something wildly unhealthy. Jason just stays close to him, because that is the sort of thing Jason does in a hiding game. Give the enemy a more centralised target.

"And what might the right angle be then?" Tim asks. He tilts his head and smiles in a way he knows that Jason likes. Charming and mischievous, just the right amount of Tim Wayne to make Jason nudge him in the shoulder with a grin. It amuses Jason, lets him know that he is up for some lighter conversation.

Jason gets a kick out of the way they pretend with civilians. It reminds him that Tim, the real Tim, is there for him and him only. He says it makes him feel special. Tim calls him a sap whenever he does.

"See, if there is one thing I've learned about 'relaxed training exercises'," he makes air quotes around the expression. "It's that it's only going to be a chore if you let it be one."

"Oh?" Tim smiles curiously. "And what then would the alternative be?"

Jason's tone has already given him some strong indication as to what it might be, but by now he has been swept up in the levity.

Jason does not tell him. He simply smiles impishly and grasps his hand to pull him up. He drags Tim a few steps down the hallway, towards the tall windows that show off Gotham's dark streets outside.

"You just gotta improvise," he says. They come to a stop by a closed door.

Tim laughs. He cannot help it.

"Really, Jay?" He continues to chuckle as Jason pulls it open and drags him in. He goes willingly.

"What?" Jason is grinning in that way that Tim loves. The kind that makes him want to push him up against a wall and taste that smile. Playful and arrogant, effortlessly Jason. It reminds him of when he would wait on cold Gotham rooftops to snap a quick shot of Batman and Robin.

He can still picture it. Dark alleys with echoing mirth. Red and green and yellow, and a smile so beautiful that he felt embarrassed even seeing it. It was something private, and Tim is so glad he got to see it before everything went horribly wrong for Jason. It means he can find it again, here and now, in the man whose hands he clutches in his own.

Dick once told him that Jason considered Robin to be magic. Perhaps he was right, but if you ask Tim, a lot of that magic came from Jason himself.

"Making out in a supply closet? What are we, teenagers at prom?"

Jason chuckles happily. It is a bit of a shuffle, fitting them both in the tight room. Scattered brooms, mops and buckets threaten to trip them both, and low shelves on the walls force them to duck their heads cautiously. He maneuvers Tim with some care into sitting on top of a small file cabinet placed against the near wall. It wobbles slightly with the newfound weight. Jason leans in close, and Tim meets him halfway.

"Doesn't matter where we are," he mutters against Tim's lips. Tim's eyes flutter reflexively.

"Sap," he says warmly. Jason leans in to kiss him, pressing his shoulders back against the wall. Tim lets him, perfectly comfortable with letting Jason take the lead.

They never make it to the actual kiss, however. As Jason presses him back, the file cabinet goes the rest of the way with him, knocking into the wall with some more fervor than Tim does. It seems to rattle the whole closet, but it could just as easily be the aged metal making enough sound to simulate it. The two freeze up, startled.

For a few seconds, it seems as though nothing has been disturbed in the perilous trap that is this closed space. Then, because he can never catch a break, Tim notices a strange creaking sound.

It comes from above their heads. Tim looks up apprehensively. High up, on the top shelf, he can see something begin to lean. The darkness makes it difficult to see, but it looks big and heavy. The kind of object that Tim would definitely not like to have dropped on his head.

He pushes at Jason's chest, signaling for him to move, and quick.

"Jay, we need to-"

He does not get further than that. The object reaches its tipping point, and Tim looks up, horrified, as a large paint can falls over on the top shelf above him. Its lid comes loose with a decisive 'pop' and stark white paint gushes from the open hole.

It happens in slow motion, as far as Tim knows. He pushes at Jason more forcefully, effectively shoving him away. He then has no time to move off the cabinet before he feels the shocking, cold splash of the paint on the top of his head. It flows down the back of his neck and over his temples, coating him. He reaches up to futilely cover himself with his arms. All it does is get them covered as well.

Tim shrieks with the impact. It is a terribly frightened sound - the kind that Jason will never let him live down. He freezes up in horror and shock, as the paint spreads throughout his hair and slithers into the creases of his suit. He can feel it creep down his spine, cold and sticky and awful.

Jason watches him in complete shock. He is about a foot away now, leaning on the wall as a mop handle seems to have attempted to sweep out his feet. One hand is on the wall, the other still futilely extended towards Tim. For a long few seconds, there is only horrified silence between them, as they stare each other in the eyes.

Then the empty paint can comes tumbling down, knocking harmlessly off Tim's raised arms. He does not even notice it falling, so strong is his shock. This, however, sets Jason off. He jolts to life with a disbelieving chuckle, which quickly turns into a stuttering laugh.

Never before in his life has Tim regretted pulling his cowl down so much. He is never going on a mission again without it. Domino masks will not protect him from this.

"I..." Tim says. He really has no words. Then they come to him. "It's in my hair."

He gasps out he words, pours all his collective misery in them. Jason wheezes for breath. He stumbles a bit as he attempts to stand up properly. One hand reaches for Tim, clearly with the intention of helping in some way.

Then someone laughs beside them. A quiet, gleeful snicker. It draws their attention the same way the snap of a branch draws the attention of a deer being hunted. They jolt, for the first time noticing the presence that watches them from the doorway. Cass stands there, her own cowl missing and one hand covering her mouth to stem the quiet giggles pouring out of her mouth.

No doubt, she is there to tag them. The game is still going on. However, they seem to have distracted her so thoroughly with their little scene that she has abandoned the pursuit of stealth entirely. Granted, she does not need it to catch the two of them, but the fact that she gave it up entirely is quite impressive on their part.

For a few long seconds, all they do is watch each other. Cass snickering and the boys staring at her like deer in headlights. For that time, no one moves.

Tim is officially done with tonight. That much is clear to all three of them. However, an idea is beginning to bloom in his mind. As much as he loathed to spend the night here training with his siblings, the turn the night has taken has possibly been one for the worse. However, he may be able to change that.

He may not have gotten his kiss, but he can still try to win the game. He can at least get that much.

It is with this thought in mind that he takes the chance he has. Before either Jason or Cass can react, he has sprung off the file cabinet with a forceful push. He is closest to the door, where Cass stands. He can do this.

Cass could easily stop him in normal circumstances. However, he seems to have distracted her just enough that he can get the jump on her. They collide and go down in a heap on the floor, with Tim on top of Cass. She grunts with the collision, her laughter turning into a yelp for a moment.

Tim latches on like a leech and pins her to the ground with the full force of his own weight.

"Go, Jay!" he yells, like the dying soldier in a war drama. "I've got her. Save yourself!"

Cass shakes with disbelieving laughter beneath him. It makes him smile as well. This situation is turning out more humorous than even he was hoping for.

Jason makes a high pitched sound, but he remains in place.

"Don't wait, dummy, go!" Tim waves one arm towards the length of the hallway. Finally Jason springs into motion. He stumbles as he rushes out the doorway, hesitating for only a moment as though he could somehow save Tim.

"Go, you idiot, and win this for us!" Tim shouts after him as he goes.

He runs down the hallway into the darkness beyond, laughing loudly the whole way.

It occurs to Tim that he may have never seen Cass this amused. She quivers in his grip, her eyes squeezed shut and her arms wrapped around his torso to hold him close and use his clean shoulder to smother her laughter. He chuckles along with her, letting his head rest on the floor next to hers.

"You know this is against the rules," Cass wheezes next to his ear. Tim shakes his head.

"All I'm saying is he better make this up to me later."

He rubs his cheek against her, coating her in just as much paint as he is afflicted with, because he is nothing if not petty. They laugh themselves hoarse, tangled up on the floor together.

Their team loses the game. Jason is captured inches from the ping signal, but Tim's sacrifice is properly honored.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> During a high-sprited game of Manhunt in a large building, Characters A, B, C, D, E, & F all separate in an attempt to find the best hiding spot and become the victor. While the others scatter, Characters B & D sneak off to a closet for some alone time together, but just before they kiss…Character A screams bloody murder.


End file.
